


Wild Saiyan Kingdom

by GokuGirl



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-06-25
Updated: 2000-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-10 18:50:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4403204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GokuGirl/pseuds/GokuGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A parody of one of those wildlife shows on the Discovery Channel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wild Saiyan Kingdom

**Author's Note:**

> This is a seven-part story. One for each person with some saiyan blood in them. It switches between third person and first person so watch out for it.
> 
> It helps is you have either seen the Dexter's Lab episode, the Recess episode, or the Tazmania episode that almost just like this.

**Day 1: Vegeta**

My name is Elizabeth Murphy. I am a Zoologist. In other words, I study animals. I study the way they behave, the way they think, and they way they interact with their surroundings. For several days, I will be studying the alien animals know as "Saiyans".

I begin my day at a bulding in Satan City known as the Capsule Corp. Dressed in my traditional outfit, khaki shorts and khaki shirt for comfort, I creep to one of the windows with my video camera. Ah, it seems a meal is being prepared by a lone female and boy is she cooking a lot. Two of the resident saiyans of Chikyuu come into the kitchen. The purple haired one, Trunks as he is known by them, kisses the female good morning and takes a seat at the table. The short, stubby dark haired one, Vegeta as he's known, comes in also. He ignores the female and takes a seat, grumbling as he does so. I see he's not too civilized. I wonder how the human female puts up with them. Oh wait, communication is beginning...

***

"Kaasan, that weird lady's back outside the window again." Trunks said to Bulma.

"I'll get her." Bulma replied as she wipes her hands on her apron, takes it off, and heads for the back door.

***

Oh look, the lone female is coming in my direction. I wonder what she wants.

"Get away! Go! Scat!" she yelled waving a broom in my direction. Suprisingly I understand her.

"I'm not going to hurt you," I say cautiously as I abandon my camera equipment and move forward. She lookes at me, puzzled, then she shrugs on her way back inside. I follow close behind.

***

"Bulma, why'd you have to go and ruin my morning by inviting strays inside the house?" Vegeta asked, annoyed.

"She looked hungry.and besides, she followed  _me_!" she got some food and placed it on the kitchen table. It was soon devoured, as you knew it would be. She placed some on a plate and set it on the floor.

Trunks finished eating first, stood, and kissed his mother goodbye. He grabbed his Nike backpack and went on his way to school (college).

***

I crouched behind some vegetation that was growing inside the room (in other words, a large potted tree). The child was leaving home. He has a primitively made knapsack so he must be going to forage for food in the forest. I wonder why the parents aren't going with him. I spot a couple of sausage links nearby. Nice of them to share what little food they have with me.

***

Trunks had to step over Elizabeth on his way to pick up Goten (they go to the same college). Vegeta finished and walked outside to train, stepped on her hand in the process.

***

Ouch! That's smarts. That Vegeta saiyan has no sense of common courtesy. He could of at least said he was sorry. I decide to follow Vegeta where he performs his morning aerobics...

***

Here comes that retarded human. I still don't know why she is following me like this, it just doesn't make sense. Heh, I'll give her something to write about...

***

Suddenly a large bright light beam came straight at me from the saiyan who had taken to the air. I ran and ran, but like a bad horror movie, I just had to trip over a tree root and fell to my knees. I was at his mercy. I just hope he can show compassion. Suddenly he jumps in front of me and blocks it. I am surprised. I wonder why he did it. The lone female in the door threatning to cut off his food supply and their mating ritual time explains that.

***

Damn woman. She always has to go and ruin my fun. I guess I'll go and see what that whipped baka is doing. I could use a good spar right about now.

(Oh yeah, Goku is NOT dead. It's my story and he'll be alive if I want him to...)

***

He flies away toward the west. I gather up my camera equipment, hop into my capsule car that appeared when I popped open the capsule, and follow him like a good observer. He flies pretty fast, but there is no escaping science. Eventually he slows down outside a little shelter in the forest. I land not too far away.

He knocks on the door and a female answers. She yells at him for a while, then she lets him in. By the time the door closes, I'm by the open window with my camcorder.

"Vegeta, how many times have I got to tell you: Don't come over so early in the morning. You'll just have to wait until Goku has his breakfast." the woman pauses and goes to the stairs. "GOTEN! YOU AND TRUNKS STOP WATCHING T.V. AND GET DOWN HERE! YOU'LL BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!"

She has a lot of lung power. Soon another of the saiyans, Son Goku, comes downstairs, eats, and leaves the house.

I watch, fascinated by how that woman seemed to keep all of the saiyans in line. It amazes me. Soon the head male of this tribe has a confrontation with the head of the other tribe. It results in a battle of great proportions, one that is too fast for me to record on film. Although I want to abandon my study on the short, stubby one, my urges subside. I have plenty of time for the others at a later date. Soon, it was obvious that the bigger saiyan won the match because the other one is badly injured. The big one goes back into the house and brings out a sort of seed that he gives the smaller male. It heals him completely! Imagine if civilized medical science had such a thing! There would be no sickness in the world!

***

Goku stared at her. "HEY! Why are you so close? You could have gotten hurt!" He walks over to her and is soon engaged in the act of trying to get a candy bar she is holding out to him.

Vegeta groaned. "I should have known. It's takes a baka to understand a baka!" He shakes his head and flies off.

***

This saiyan is more friendly than the others. I think I'll name his BoBo.

"I have to go now, BoBo, I'll be back later after I finish with Vegeta." I pat him on the head and pop a capsule. He just grins stupidly at me as I ride away. Such low intelligence, these saiyans.

I soon arrive back at the Capsule Corp. The lone female is currently in a big room with equipment trying to figure out something. It appears as if she's a scientist. I wonder if she is studying the saiyans also.

Vegeta is rummaging through a fridge looking for food. I guess he finds nothing of interest because he turns around and locks eyes with me, drooling.

"KAMI!" I scream as I run like I have never run before. I have no intention of becoming Vegeta's main course. Suddenly BoBo appears and stops him. I can't believe he did that! Those saiyan have some pretty nifty tricks up their sleves, pretty nifty indeed. I gather up my equipment and move on. I love living. My next stop is the one and only BoBo!

* * *

**Day 2: Son Goku**

I approach the house in the middle of the woods with some caution. From what I experienced from Vegeta, I can't afford to be reckless any longer. I look into the window and see BoBo and the same human female from before. She is cooking a meal of great proportions. BoBo and the demi-saiyan are at the table waiting impatiently for the meal. Finally, the woman is finished and she sets the food down onto the kitchen table, narrowly escaping finger loss. I see her frown deeply and her mouth open. I also see BoBo and his offspring wince at what was coming. Suddenly the windows began to rattle. I look around. Earthquake? No, it is the woman's voice. She stops and the rattling stops as well.

I think that now is a good time to start up my camera this may get interesting.

***

Trunks and Goten slip silently from the table and creep to the front window.

"What is that lady's problem? Does she think we're wild animals or something?" Goten asked slightly annoyed with her behavior.

"I think so. She just comes around all of the time taking notes and filming us. I mean come on!"

"Let's scare her away so she won't bother us anymore."

"Yeah!"

The both tip-toe to the front door and open it. Elizabeth doesn't hear a thing. Goku looks up, sees what they're about to do, and frowns. He follows them. ChiChi is still preoccupied with washing dishes.

"Trunks, Goten," Goku whispers, "what are you about to do to that poor woman?"

"Tousan!"

"Goku-san!"

"Do you see how she treats us all of the time? It's really stupid."

Goku shrugs. "I think she's nice." he suddenly broke into a wide grin. "She gave me candy after all."

Both boys groan and shake their heads.

"Goten, where is your Tousan's brain?"

"I don't know, but when I find it I'll tell you."

***

What are those two young ones doing? They don't look like they're trying to be nice... Oh good. BoBo has stopped them and they appear to be having an argument of some sort. They boys give up and go back into the house and BoBo approaches me. He must want more candy.

I rummage around in my knapsack hoping to produce a chocolate bar for this saiyan. He seems to be one of the nicest so far, just a little too hungry at times.

***

"Goodie!" Goku in his hast snatched it from Elizabeth, scaring her half to death. Elizabeth jumped and ran a few feet away, camera slung over he shoulder.

"Now, now. Back BoBo. I'm not good to eat, I don't have a lot of meat on my bones..." she held up her hands in a shooing gesture.

Goku raised an eyebrow and laughed. "You think I want to eat you? That's funny..."

"See Tousan, I told you that she thinks that we're animals."

"That's understandable... I think."

Trunks rolled his eyes and got right in Elizabeth's face. "Look here lady, I don't know who or what you think that we are but we're just as civilized as you are! Come back when you GET A CLUE!!"

***

The purple haired one is yelling at me! I didn't do anything wrong!

"Um Purple Guy, I'm sorry for whatever I did but please step away from me!"

He blinked at me confusedly and backed away.

"Arigatou."

"So you do understand us after all, eh? Why are you treating us like animals?" The copy of BoBo asked.

They can speak my language! Amazing!

"I grew up with parents that considered you guys as animals. The museum wants more info on saiyans and I was appointed the job. Please let me observe you in your every day ways."

"I'm sorry to dissapoint you, but we're basically just like you and everyone else in the world. We wouldn't be interesting at all." BoBo told me.

"Well BoBo, I still want to observe you."

BoBo raised his eyebrow again. "BoBo?"

"It is what I call you."

"But my name is Son Goku! This," he pointed to Goten, "is my youngest son Goten and this," he pointed to Trunks, "is Trunks Briefs, Vegeta's son. Vegeta you've already met since he complains about you daily."

"Gomen nasai."

"Think nothing of it." Goku silenced Trunks with a look.

I glanced at the trio. Maybe they're right. Maybe they are just like you and me.

Suddenly the one who they called Vegeta arrived from the air. "Kakarott! Time to spar!"

Maybe not.

* * *

**Day 3: Trunks**

I follow Trunks as he follows his Tousan and Bo- I mean Son Goku to the forest. Trunks turns to me.

"It's really not safe to be around here when they spar, especially if your ki is next to none, but since you have an assignment to complete I guess it's okay. I sugest to set up your video camera because it's gets pretty good." he turns to Goku and Vegeta. "Tousan, Goku-san, please be careful. The weird lady wants to film you. Can you also slow down so that she can get you on film?"

"Aw come on Trunks! It's no fun that way!" Goku whines.

"Shut up boy! I'll do what I want! She is just a pitiful, weak human and I am the--"

"We know, we know, the Prince of the Saiyans." the small group completes in unison.

The Prince of the Saiyans? The short troll one? That is new. I must jot this down into my notebook.

"Just this once! Please?" Trunks says in a pleading tone of voice.

"Boy, you are not your sister so don't try it."

"Aha! So you do admit that you like Bra better!"

"I, no, uh, THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO BE DISCUSSING THIS! I AM THE PRINCE OF THE SAIYANS AND NEED NOT EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU!"

"It  _is_  true," Trunks voice dropped lower, "you're using the "I'm the Prince and do not need to explain" thing with me. I understand." Trunks sat on the ground, head in his hands.

"Trunks come on, it's not so bad. You've known for years that he likes Bra-chan better." Goten said trying to cheer his best friend up.

Is it jealousy, or sibling rivalry? No, I don't think so. I think it is just a simple case of wanting to be loved by a parent.

"At least your mother loves you." Goten continued.

Trunks looked up, angry. "And that's supposed to make it better? You have two parents that care about you, you'll never know how it feels! You look up to someone all of your life and then that someone doesn't even care! It's horrible."

"You're right, I'll never know. But I can guess. Come on, let's go."

During this conversation between the youths, Vegeta had a strange, unreadable expression on his face.

"Vegeta? Are you even going to say something or are you just going to stand there gawking? The boy needs you." Goku said, strangely wise.

"It is not my concern."

"Vegeta!"

Goten and Trunks fly away towards the Capsule Corporation. I must follow! I pop a capsule and hop in, quickly taling them.

***

Trunks and Goten were flying at a slow, leasurely pace.

"Trunks I think that you're being a little selfish. You should appreciate what you  _do_  have! You're rich, air to one of the largest companies in the world, you get what you want, and you have at least one parent who cares. Some kids don't even have that."

"I guess you're right. I'm glad you're my friend Goten."

***

Aw, what a touching moment. Too bad I couldn't get it on film.

***

They arrive at the Capsule Corp. to find Bra having a tea party with Pan.

"You also have a sister to pick on."

Trunks grinned devishly. "You're right about that too."

Trunks swooped down and grabbed one of Bra's dolls and flew into the air.

"ONICHAN! GIVE IT BACK! I'LL TELL KAASAN!"

"Don't worry Bra-chan, I'll get it." Pan stood with a smirk. "Give it back Trunks-kun if you know what's good for you."

"Who are you Pan-chan, her body guard?"

Pan shrugged. "She needs help and you RUINED OUR PARTY!" Pan flew off after them in an effort to get it back.

***

I didn't know one of the small ones, that girl Pan, could fly. Hmmm.

***

Trunks and Goten tossed the doll to each other everytime Pan got a little close. During that, Bra had ran to Bulma's lab and worked on her tears. "Kaasan! Kaasan!" Bra sniffed and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Yes Bra-chan? What is it?"

"Onichan took my doll and now he and Pan are fighting over her. Goten is in on it too."

"I'll see about that." Bulma put on an "extremely pissed" face and went outside. "TRUNKS! GOTEN! GIVE BRA BACK HER DOLL SO THAT SHE AND PAN CAN FINISH THEIR TEA PARTY!"

Trunks sighed and tossed it to Pan who caught it and stuck out her tongue. "Meany."

Trunks landed and walked into the house with Goten trailing. "I'll get you for this tattletale," he whispered as he passed Bra.

"I'll like to see you try. I can get Papa to increase your training..." Bra trailed off and gave him a smirk.

"You wouln't dare!" he hissed.

"Try me!" she shot back.

"Now I remember why we never annoy her too often." Goten said.

"Yeah."

***

Common sibling things. I'm glad that at least some aspects of his life are normal. He deserves that after all he's been through with Vegeta and everything.

* * *

**Day 4: Son Pan**

Pan went home feeling more satisfied than before she left. "Tadaima Tousan, Kaasan!"

"Oh hi Pan-chan. Dinner's on the table."

"Sugoi!"

Pan rushed into the bathroom and washed her hands and was soon was seated at the table fork and knife in hand.

***

What eagerness to eat! Is she like all of the rest of the saiyans?

I walk into their house and close the door. The human female looks at me.

"Pan, who's your guest?"

"Oh! That's the weird lady Mama. She is studying saiyans so I let her follow me home."

"Pan!" Videl scolded, "She could be dangerous!"

"I highly assure you miss, I'm not. And my name is Elizabeth. Nice to meet you." I hold out my hand in greeting and Videl cautiously shakes it. "Charmed."

"Won't you sit down and have something to eat?" Videl asks me.

"Sure." I set my camera up and sit down. "You don't mind if I film this do you?"

Videl shrugged. "It won't hurt anything."

The door opens then and a tall saiyan that looks somewhat like Goku comes in. This must be his oldest, Gohan.

"Videl, I'm home!" he paused, looking at me. "Who's this?"

"This is Elizabeth Tousan, she's the lady that Vegeta-san's been complaining about. She's studying saiyans!"

"Oh?"

"Yes sir. The museum that I work for assigned me the job. I hope you don't mind me being here."

"I guess it's alright. Is it okay with you Videl?"

"Hai."

***

 _She's staring at me, it's really creepy!_  Pan put down the fork in her hand and started to make faces at Elizabeth who was visibly startled. Gohan noticed.

"Son Pan!"

Pan jumped. "Hai Tousan?"

"Stop staring and eat your food. She's just doing her job."

"Okay..."

So Pan went back to eating, but everytime she thought that her mother and father weren't looking, she would continue freaking Elizabeth out.

After dinner was over, Elizabeth trailed after Pan to her room so she could get more info about her.

"I'm doing a project for geography. I need to make a drawing of Satan City and put where my house is, my best friends' house, my grandparents, and at least two other people."

"Oh?"

"Hai. It shouldn't be too hard. After I'm done, I'm going to spar. Are you watching that too?"

Elizabeth sat down on her bed, camera set up and notepad in hand. "I really need to. I hope you don't mind."

"Iie. It gives me a chance to show off!"

Pan went to work on her drawing. In less than twenty minutes it was done.

"Let's go. I usually spar with Uncle Goten and Trunks-kun."

***

We both went outside. I in my capsule car and Pan taking to the skies, heading back toward the Capsule Corp.

"Goten's always over Trunks' house around dinner time. He says Obaasan doesn't cook enough. He usually spends days over there, sparring with Trunks and Vegeta in the gravity room. They won't let me come, they say I'm too little."

Rejection. Such a sad thing.

"You still have fun though right? So cheer up!"

"You're right. At least they let me spar with them in the first place!"

We soon arrived at our destination. Pan stretched and got into a fighting stance, my cameras were rolling.

"Hey brat," Vegeta said as he walked by. Going to the fridge no doubt.

"Hey Veggie-head!" Pan answered cheerfully. Trunks and Goten stifled laughs. Vegeta just snorted and went into the house.

"Are you ready Pan-chan?"

"Yup. I even want to fight you both at the same time!"

Trunks and Goten exchanged glances. "Are you sure about that? I know you've been training harder but..."

"Hai Trunks-kun so begin all ready!"

"Okay...."

***

She's pretty good. I would have never thought that she could keep up with the both of them like that. I must make a note: saiyan females have just as much stamina, strength, and skill as their male counterparts.

"Come on! Is that all you've got?" Pan taunted, "I'm not even tired!"

She's awfully mouthy.

"Okay. But remember, you asked for it!" Trunks doubled his efforts. Pan was trying to defend fiercely. By this time, Goten was just watching.

"You should just give up Pan-chan!" Trunks yelled. Pan  _is_  looking a little beat up.

"NEVER!"

All saiyans have an extreme amount of pride. All except Goku. But I think even he is prideful about some things.

***

Pan falls one last time and doesn't get up. "Okay! I guess I give."  _I'm really gonna hurt tomorrow._ Pan climbs slowly to her feet. "But I will beat you someday."

"Uh huh. Right. And Goten is a genius."

Goten shot him a look. "Hey!"

Pan laughs a little and went into the house. "Since I've gotten my abuse for the day, how about a little snack?"

"If Vegeta left some."

"He has to. Kaasan would make him sleep on the couch!" They all snicker and go inside.

* * *

**Day 5: Son Goten**

All this boy does is eat, sleep, and spar. Doesn't he have a life? In addition to looking like an exact copy of his father, thier behavior is just alike as well. Is this a fluke or did fate plan it this way?

***

"Goten! Why can't you be more like Gohan?" ChiChi got all misty eyed. "A surgeon. Graduated top of his class..."

should be a millionaire by the time he's forty." Goten muttered along with her. "Yeah. Yeah. I've heard it hundreds of times."

"Aw, go easy on him ChiChi," Goku said going through the fridge.

ChiChi whirled. "You stay out of this Goku!"

 _If it didn't work on Gohan's behalf, it's not going to work on Gotens..._ Goku thought as Goten was getting yelled at.

"I'm sick and tired of you always comparing me to niichan Kaasan! I'm not Gohan, when are you going to figure that out?" Goten stood in disgust and left the house.

"Goten! You get back here! NOW!"

"Let him go ChiChi," Goku said. "He'll come back when he fells better."

"You better be right. If you know what's good for you that is."

"I am dear."

***

Does ChiChi always do that? It's really sad if she does. I hope Goten feels better. He's going to the Capsule Corp. Pan was right, he does spend a  _huge_  amount of time there.

***

Goten opened the back door and went right on in. Trunks was playing keep away with Bra's cookie in the kitchen. Trunks took one look at Goten and sighed.

"She did it again. Huh?"

Bra took advantage at her brothers lapse in focus on her and snatched it back.

"Of course. She has no reason to stop. I'm still the same failure I always was."

"Oh come on Goten! Where's the cheerful, optimistic person you always were. Like you told me just two days ago, it could be worse."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. She ask you why weren't you more like my Tousan!"

Trunks and Goten looked at each other and burst out laughing. "That would never happen."

"Why? What's wrong with being like me?"

Trunks and Goten both jumped and looked at Vegeta a little guiltily.

"Don't do that! Why do you always have to sneak up on people?" Goten asked.

"That is not your concern." Vegeta took a seat at the table. "Is that demon of a human bothering you again?"

"Why should you care?"

"I don't! It might affect your fighting if your mind is on something else." In other words, Vegeta-ese for I care about you. And Goten knew.

"It won't."

"Good." Vegeta got up. "Do you have to come over all of the time?"

Goten smirked. "That is not your concern."

"Touché," Vegeta said as he left.

***

"Are you going home tonight or should I tell Kaasan to cook more food?" Trunks asked his Goten after he was there for six hours.

Is he afraid to go? Or he just doesn't want to see his mother?

"I can't go."

"Because you think you dissapoint your mother."

Goten nodded. "Because I think I dissapoint my mother."

"Boys! Dinner's ready!" Bulma called out. Trunks and Goten stood and started to go into the kitchen.

"I'll be there in a sec. I have to do something first."

"Okay Trunks."

I wonder what it is?

Trunks moved over to the phone. "Hello? Gohan. Yeah, it's me. Look, Goten needs you. Yep. It's your Kaasan again. You'll talk to her? Okay thanks. I hate to see him this way. I understand. Thanks again. Ja ne!"

That was a nice thing he did for him. It's good that Goten as a friend such as he.

***

"Are you going home Goten-niichan?" Bra asked him early the next morning.

"Hai Bra-chan."

"Good! More food for me!"

Goten began to laugh and bent down to hug her. "I'm going now, but you know I'll be back."

Bra grew solemn. "Too bad. You an' niichan aren't nice to me an' Pan."

"Gomen nasai Bra-chan." he bent lower to whisper in her ear, "It's all your niichans fault. Do something sneaky to him later, okay?"

"Sure! I can switch his shampoo for washable hair color again. That was fun!"

Goten laughed, remembering the scream they heard when Trunks found that his hair was pale pink. 'I look like a Barbie doll!' he had moaned.

"Just don't tell him I gave you the idea."

Bra crossed her fingers behind her back. "I promise."

***

Now I see why he frequently visits Trunks' home. Despite it being inhabited by Vegeta, he has fun and he feels wanted.

Hmmm. Now I think it's time to move on.

* * *

**Day 6: Son Gohan**

_Why do I always have to get him out of trouble? He's old enough to do it himself! What about Tousan?_  Gohans thinking paused. "Scratch that," he said outloud.

"Did you say something Gohan?" Videl asked.

"Iie. Nothing. Just thinking about Goten."

Videl gave him a sympathetic smile before going back to her book.

"Can I come to? Please?" Pan gave her Tousan a Goku-puppy-dog look.

Gohan shrugged. "I don’t see why not."

"Yea!"

The duo went out the front door.

"Be careful while flying! Avoid any airplanes!" A worried Videl shouted after them.

"We won’t!"

***

I think that they're the only family that gets along. That's too bad. Maybe counceling could help?

I imagine a session with Goku drooling, Vegeta and Bulma fighting, Goten and Trunks tormenting Bra, and ChiChi telling off Goku and shudder. That would be enough to drive even the top therapist mad!

I try to keep up with them in my capsule car, but fail terribly. I wonder if I could persuade Bulma-san to upgrade it for free?

***

"You see Kaasan, I've come to understand that you want Goten to be just like me." Gohan began as he sat at the kitchen table across from ChiChi, hands folded.

"You turned out just fine."

"Hai but Goten is a whole entire different person. He and I are two different people. If you hadn't of majorly influenced me and basically controlled every aspect of my life, I wouldn't be who I am."

"It was either take over your freedom or let your Tousan corrupt you. And I refused to let that happen. You should be eternally grateful to me, not complaining about it!" A wide range of emotions flashed across ChiChis face and finally settled on anger.  _Extreme_  anger.

Gohan looked annoyed. "Why don't you let Goten choose his own life and stop bringing up the fact that he's nothing like me! I'm glad he's not!"Gohan stood to leave and walked over to the swinging kitchen door. He pushed on it and hit somthing solid."Nani?" He pulled it forward and Pan came tumbling through.

"Uh hi Tousan!" Pan quickly stood. "Ja ne!"

"Wait just a second young lady," Gohan grabbed the back or her shirt and pulled her back in. "What were you doing listening at the door? I know Videl and I have talked to you about that!"

"Gomen nasai Tousan. But I was curious!" she turned to "Obasan, I think Uncle Goten would really love it if you did what Tousan suggests." She told them of his conversation with Trunks, word by word. She also told them about previous conversations.

"He really does think that I don't love him? Am I really that bad?" she sat back down at the table. Pan ran into the living room for a brief second and returned with Goten.

"Pan-chan! Kaasan is  _not_  baking a cake and want me to lick the bowl! Why did you bring me in here?"

"I think Kaasan has something to tell you." Gohan said softly as he picked up Pan and exited the room.

"Yes?"

"Goten, I'm terribly sorry about comparing you to your brother. I understand now that you are most definitely  _not_  him and should be your own person. Remember that whatever you decide I will be behind you one hundred percent and I will always love you.

Goten broke into a tradition Son family grin until he thought of something. "Kaasan? Are you on something because we can get you help..."

ChiChi gave him a weird look and then burst out laughing. "Goten, I can assure you that I DO NOT do drugs! I also do not kid."

"You're right." Goten apporached her and gave her a big hug. "Arigatou Gohan!" he yelled to the other room. Gohan stuck his head in.

"Don't thank me, it was Trunks who decided to do something about it."

"Trunks..."

***

I think Gohan should be a councelor instead of a doctor. He's awfully good for someone untrained.

Since he borders on perfection and is as normal as normal can be, I will now move to the weakest saiyan, Vegeta's daughter Bra. She is the last one on my list and I will get a feel for how a small child feels living with Vegeta.

* * *

**Day 7: Bra Briefs**

"Papa! Papa! It's time!" Bra yelled out her bedroom window.

_Time? Time for what? Oh no..._

"Kaasan says if you don't take me, you'll never get that gravity room upgrade. Not many choices, eh?"

_What a sneaky, underhanded, little brat. She makes me so proud!_

"Iie."

"I guess you're happy with Goku-san being stronger than you. I understand. My Papa, the  _second_  strongest fighter in the universe..."

"Alright, alright! I'll take you just this once! Don't ask again again!"

"Hai Papa. I will."

***

She is excellent at getting Vegeta to do exactly what she wants. She is truly Bulmas child.

***

"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too..." Bra sang very loudly with the rest of the little kids. She and Vegeta were at a Barney appearance at the mall.

"I love you Barney!" Bra screamed as the big, goofy purple dinosaur took a bow and left the stage.

_Finally that's over._

"Papa?" Bra asked as they were leaving.

"What brat?"

"Can we go get ice cream?"

"Iie," Vegeta said immediately.

"Please?" Bra gave Vegeta her best puppy dog look. He ignored her.

"Iie. We're going home. NOW."

"Come on! Just this once?"

"Iie."

"Please?"

That vein started to bulge on Vegeta's forehead. Bra noticed this warning signal and promptly shut up. "Don't ask me again." he calmed down slightly at her reaction, but that was enough for Bra's impromptu plan to work.

First she began to cry and when her father ignored her she began to wail. After 6 minutes she was in a full out temper tantrum and more than half the mall was staring.

"You won't get me ice cream! Why won't you let me get ice cream?"

"Shut up brat!" Vegeta hissed trying to placate her to no avail. Finally he threw up his hands in frustration, picked her up, shoved her under an arm and ran full tilt to the Ice Cream Palace. His minor headache from the kiddy show had now blown to astronomical proportions.

"Give me your biggest ice cream with every kind included with every single topping! NOW!"

"Sir are you sure about this?" the girl behind the counter asked him.

"Hai! Of course I'm sure!" Vegeta slammed his free hand down onto the table, leaving a small fissure where it impacted.

"That will be 69 zenni and 75 cents (do they even call them cents?)." Vegeta handed her a Capsule Corp. gold card. By now Bra's crying had subsided to sniffles. "Your desert will be brought out to you in a few minutes."

Vegeta nodded and deposited Bra into a booth, none to gently. "You win this round brat, but you won't win another."

Bra flashed a Vegeta type smirk and uttered one word, "Whatever."

***

That was an amazing performance. Couldn't have done better myself. I see Bra will be an excellent con-artist someday.

***

"WOMAN!!!" Vegeta stalked in, slaming the door up against the wall in his anger. "NEVER AGAIN!!"

Trunks and Bulma looked up from a jigsaw puzzle on the seldom used diningroom table. "I see Bra has used trick number 29-a: Bring up the fact that Vegeta is weaker than Goku." Bulma said without lifting her head.

"Nope. She used 65-b: Tantrum in a public place. That's the only time he's this mad."

Bulma thought it over briefly. "You're right."

"WOMAN!! NEVER AGAIN WILL I TAKE THAT DEMON CHILD ANYWHERE ELSE!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!"

"Whatever Veggie-chan."

Vegeta's face started to change colors. Bra came in and hugged her mother and brother respectively.

"Can I help?" she asked innocently.

"Sure."

Vegeta's mouth opened thenclosed then opened again and no sound came out. He sort of looked like a fish. Then he turned and stomped to the gravity chamber.

"Bra-chan, I suggest you use trick 10 tomorrow. It's his turn to take you to your ballet lesson."

"Sure! Hiding his asprin always works wonders!"

***

"In conclusion, I have learned much from these saiyans. How to laugh, how to love, how to trick." Elizabeth paused in her reading. "I've also learned not to underestimate anyone, big (a picture of Goku is shown on the overhead projector), or small (a picture of Bra is shown). Smart (a pic of Gohan), or dumb (a pic of Goku). They feel the same way we do. They think the same way we do. They have their happy days and they have their bad. Basically I've learned that humans should never question their mortality. We are not gods and should therefore not act like ones. Treating races of different people like savages is not a good thing to do. Get to know them. They may just be worthwhile." she stops completely and all of the people in the hall start to clap until a thunderous roar was heard.

"Bravo! You will be made Vice-president of the association for this wonderful observation. Good job!" the head of her research department, Mr. Kumiyato, said.

"Thank you but I owe it all to the wonderful people I had to work with. Goku, Vegeta, Gohan, Goten, Pan, and Bra, this is for you!"


End file.
